20. May, 2022
Hope...
This week was a difficult one again. It has been 7 months since our Liam died. It started on Friday last week when I gathered all his onesies, pajamas and marine clothes. I am going to use them for something special for Fathers Day, which will fall on the 8 month anniversary. But it was difficult to open the drawers for the first time in 7 months and see everything he adored.
Memories flooded in of a barefoot Liam wearing a onesie with wet hair making hot chocolate in a pot on the stove. It broke me completely.
On Saturday I delivered the clothes for the surprise and I handed in the two boys' Voortrekkers jackets to be framed. It was so hard to let it go and entrust it to someone else. On Sunday we went to evening church and listened to Ian Home's story of losing his whole family whilst on holiday. We cried a lot, but he gave us hope that it will get better. The pain will morph, but will never go away.
He promised that Jesus is with us and He is also crying with us, but He will never leave us. We just need to give over and let Him take care of the rest.
The whole week this week I have listened (shuffled) songs and they all talk about hope and not giving up and that the Lord is walking with us in this terrible darkness.
On the 18th a dream of ours for the last seven months came true. Liam's Celebration Day at his old school at long last could happen. The kids loved it. I was shocked to see how big the grade 7's got. Some elements that really stood out was the bare feet, Liam's broom, volleyball, golf and huge jumping castles. Thank you to all the wonderful teachers and the principal for arranging everything.
Yesterday was Liam's 5 month anniversary and we were so busy with work and school that we could not really celebrate his life. I did manage to place a note on Facebook about the legacy Liam left behind. He is such an inspiration to us still: family and friends alike.
Your place is empty and we feel it intensely everyday. Everything is different and not the same and it will never be. Our lives are emptier without you in it and we constantly think: What would Liam have done here? We miss you, but what gives us hope is that we believe absolutely that you are in heaven, in God's marines and we will see you again. We love you our dearest little boy - forever!