We actually rekindled table community a few months before Liam died. We decided to go the prepared meal option and we ordered our meals ahead of time and just warm it up. Then we do not waste time in preparing dinner and trying to catch up on each other's day.

Table community is one of the fundamentals of christianity. Jesus often broke bread with communities, friends and families. 

So we set the table, simple setting, warm the food and then sit down at a dining room table. The idea is not to cobble down the food, but to connect with each others's day. What was good or bad about your day and of course the importance of the second question. Liam was always the lifely one and participated with enthusiasm. Raine learnt to open up about his day. Hubby and I are still learning.

After Liam's death we decided to look at practices to keep, drop or start and this was number one on our list to keep. We still eat every main meal at the dining room table. No electronics between 18:00 and 20:00. Only the TV, but then we use the roster to choose the show. We have continued to learn so many things about each other and even of Liam.

It is still very hard and difficult to set the table for three and not four. We do set the table for Liam when it is an important date or larger family dinner. But that empty space is real and it is this big black nothingness. But we will keep on doing it, no matter what. In 3-4 years time Raine will be out of the house and then we only have each other left, but hopefully he will continue the tradition with his roommates or future family.

My husband also about two weeks before Liam died, decided to have some "kuier" chat time with Liam for about 10-15 minutes. They just usually walked or played in the garden. That meant so much to Franco in the days just after Liam's accident.

Now he has instituted tea time at 19:50 with Raine, where they just bond over a shared interest or news or something. No girls allowed.

I get date days or nights with Raine like I had with Liam. We usually went had something fun to eat like waffles at Moody Cow.

Keep on with traditions that work and are fundamentally important to your religion, no matter what you believe in. Do not stop that, it helps with the routine of things, of the continuation of life. I am sure Raine does not want to come home to depressed sad parents eevery day. We are still depressed and sad bu we mask it when we spend time with just him. He does not need to compete with the ghost of his little brother.