Forever Mommy

Liam's thirteen years

We tried for another baby for 5 years and I fell pregnant. I unfortunately I lost the baby at 10 weeks - a little girl. All due to my autoimmune diseases. Luckily I fell pregnant again 5 months later. Because I had two miscarraiges and Raine were borm prematurely, the pregnancy was closely watched by the gynae. 

Unfortunately my water started breaking at 24 weeks and I was placed on bedrest. The evening I saw my gynae my water broke again and I was almost 30 weeks. I got all the shots to help the baby's lungs to grow and I prayed. "Please lord, if this baby is going to survive let him be born on his dad's birthday." 27 September 2008. Luckily Liam was born on the 27th and he weighed 1046g and went into NICU.

This was my second time in the NICU and I was well trained what to expect. Liam was the smallest baby there but he was the loudest. You could hear him cry all the way in the coffee shop.

Liam was only septic one time, but a dose of antibiotics fixed that issue. Liam did apnea (stops breathing for a period of time) and he had reflux. He was placed on milk thickeners. After 45 days we could go home because Liam weighed 2kg.

We were home for one week and I had to go out to get some groceries. So I had Raine, 5 years old, and Liam in the carseat. Whilst going down the lift, Liam looked funny - just not the same. When I got into better lighting I could see was turning blue. I immediately took him out of the seat and turned him around and started bumping his back like they taught us in CPR. People walking past just stared at us, no-one helped. Eventually a lady helped me to perform full CPR. As God would have it some emergency people were in the shop next door and they came to help. Liam was already 2 minutes without air. They got the thick milk out and placed him on oxygen. They raced the three of us to the hospital. My husband drove from Sandton in record time on the World Cup 2010 roads still being built.

They did a MRI and he had damage on his frontal lobe. That meant that he would have difficulty with memory, speech, reading and spelling. 

Liam was such a sweet little baby and toddler boy. Always laughing, always playing and always wanting to be amongst people. He gave us hours of fun.

Liam was diagnosed with ADHD and anxiety syndrome at the age of 6. We decided to also place him on the medication. It helped our eldest son. The medication did, however, not change his recklessness. So you try and teach your boys to be careful without breaking their playing spirits.

Liam was not great at school work and the work was sometimes difficult for him to comprehend. Being in a large public school did not help, so we decided to move him to a private school with 14 kids in the class.

After some changes over the years, there was only 2 Afrikaans boys left in grade 6 and they were placed in the dual language class. The class was only 7.

Liam's personality was a sunshine kind and he always brought joy whereever he went. He also enjoyed life and participated to the fullest, He was also a great tease and his poor brother got the brunt of it. He loved wrestling with his dad and climbing trees. He liked cooking and baking. He was an outdoors person and really enjoyed playing in our "forest" at the back of our garden against a mountain.

Liam loved the scouts (Voortrekkers) and all the camps we went to. He always attended as much as he could.

Liam was even a pleasure when he was sick. He would just want you to nurture him. When I had my bone grafts in my mouth and yelling of the pain, Liam looked after me and tried so hard to make me comfortable.

Liam wanted to become a US Marine for the last two years and he was constantly exercising and trying to build stamina. He was very small for his age and compared to the kids in his grade, he was the smallest. Even though he was a year older. But he actually then changed the dream to becoming a US Marine Field Medic. His emails show that he tried to contact the Marines a few times.

Liam's short term goal last year was to become the scout leader and to better his marks. Two days before he died he became the scout leader. He was so very proud of himself. I also had a look at his study notes for the October exams and they were beautifully made.

The two weeks before he died we were really blessed with unique out of the ordinary opportunities to spend time with Liam. The day before he died, a Monday, we went to watch the James Bond movie and on the way home he slept on my lap for the last time.

The morning he died, he said goodbye to me at school with a kiss and a wink: "Love you and see you this afternoon". I never saw him alive that afternoon...

I miss the sound of Liam, his smell and his presence. But mostly I miss his smile and his wonderful hugs.