I have always written poems since high school. But two events had one poem in common - my still born son Aidan at 26 weeks and Liam's death. It is called Give me back my son.

I did not finish it with Aidan's death, but I finally finished it 21 years later when Liam died. I changed the title.

Give us back our son!

This feeling of helplessness and despair

Wishing to die, I would even dare

This longing for what cannot be

What in God's name - where are thee?

We miss what we will never have

Our hearts empty, dead and sad

Our joyest gift died and gone

Please give us back our son...

No-one understands how this feels

Only know that our story steals

Pain and suffering are lengthy

We don't want any sympathy

We miss what we will never have

Our hearts empty, dead and sad

Our joy died and is gone

"PLEASE give us back our son!"

My heart is confused and broken

You left us so very sudden

No goodbye or I love you

Just silence, quiet and no you?

We miss what we will never have

Our hearts empty, dead and sad

Or joy died and is gone

"PLEASE give us back our son!"

We will never see you grown

Your joy to live overthrown

By death's cold and brutal hand

Without you live. We can't!

We miss what we will never have

Our hearts empty, dead and sad

Or little boy died and is gone

"PLEASE give us BACK our son!"

- Silezia Pretorius 03.11.2021

The other poem was written by my niece for Liam's memorial - Remember. It is in the photo on top. 

Various other poems speak to me and I save them to my facebook page so I can read them again when I have similar feelings of missing Liam and anger and despair. 

I love poetry as it speaks to my heart. Liam also liked poetry, but were just starting to appreciate it, through his wonderful English teacher. 

The poems do not make the heartache go away, but give me words so that I can name my feelings and emotions.